Eclipse
by RadioActiveBanjo
Summary: Malik Ishtar has finally settled into a normal life with Ryou. On one particular day though, it seems he gets caught in his own head. Ryou tries to comfort him but a stronger voice comes through- one that seems to be coming from his boyfriend. Malik suspects he needs more medication but even that doesn't seem to work. He fears the darkness will consume him again. Angstshipping


"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

-Plato

"Shh! There it is again. Can't you hear it?"

Ryou looked up from his book with a furrowed brow. Malik had been going on about this for the last fifteen minutes and at this point it was getting annoying. In his softest voice he shifted on the couch to eye the tan man with a gentle smile. "It's just the storm, Malik, I'm sure."

The light of the candles gave his face a warm glow, making the smile look more genuine than annoyed. "Why don't you move closer, love? It may make you feel better."

Malik did shift closer, almost before the offer had even left Ryou's lips. This was a side of him no one ever saw, save for Rishid, but with the power cut out from the storm leaving them in near pitch darkness and the growing sense of unease that had been eating away at him lately - without Rishid here, Ryou was his only support system. Maybe he wasn't meant to live here after all, if a simple power outage could have him feeling so vulnerable.

"It doesn't sound like the storm, it sounds like laughing. You're sure you checked the locks - the windows too?" He insisted, curling his legs underneath himself to make his posture as small as possible.

"Three times over." Ryou assured him, wrapping an arm around the younger one as he settled in. "I believe because you are so nervous that your brain is making up more things to make you uneasy."

He craned his neck to leave a quick kiss on Malik's head before turning back to his book, flipping a page over. "I promise you everything will be fine."

He nodded and settled a bit with the affection, heaving another deep sigh to calm his nerves. "We need to buy more candles, this is ridiculous - I can't even see anything, what if I want to use the bathroom or something?!" He gestured his hand outward toward the black just beyond the coffee table.

Both of them were aware that he knew the apartment layout well enough to find his way around even without the candlelight, but it helped to ease the tension on his nerves with his complaining.

"You can take the candle with you, love." Ryou suggested, flipping another page as he finished it. "I'll be fine, honestly."

Unlike Malik, he had no problem with the dark, he never had. Since a young age he dealt with darkness, thanks to the spirit who possessed him. Ryou felt lucky to not have any ridiculous fears holding him back.

Malik hummed, suddenly embarrassed again by his childish fear.

There is was again.

That distant chuckle, just on the outskirts of his hearing, taunting him. He looked to Ryou but didn't comment this time, and by his reaction he could tell he still hadn't heard it. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face, silently bidding the voice to shut the hell up and leave him alone. His shouldn't be feeling this way, he'd been doing so well.

There was a sudden flash of lighting that lit up the whole apartment as well as the loud rumbling of thunder. Ryou looked up, staring at the slider in the corner of the living room. "Hmm... the storm must be right over us." He commented turning his attention to Malik. "Do you like thunderstorms?"

Malik flinched with the clap of thunder and the rest of his patience snapped. "No! No, I hate storms, I hate the dark, I hate this!"

Ryou watched him curiously before setting his book down. "I don't like that tone." He muttered, grabbing Malik's chin and eyeing him. After a moment he captured a kiss, hoping that the intimacy may help Malik calm down.

Malik barely had a moment to respond negatively to the comment before Ryou was on him and he grunted his displeasure. He was always like this, mixing his signals, hot and cold, jumbling Malik's already frayed emotions until it was hard to tell what he even wanted sometimes.

He pushed Ryou back enough to break the kiss, but held him close by a hand on his shoulder, fiddling with the material of his sweater.

Ryou lowered his gaze, looking upset by the interruption. "I only want to distract you. I want you to feel more comfortable." He said quietly, now looking up and nosing Malik's cheek. "I don't know what to do to make you feel better, please help me."

Malik rolled his lips together hesitantly and shrugged a shoulder meekly. He didn't know what would make him feel better. The storm passing would make him feel better. The electricity coming back would make him feel better. Rishid would make him feel better. Maybe... Ryou could make him feel better. On that thought he leaned back in, flicking his eyes between Ryou's and his lips before kissing him again.

He smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Malik's shoulders, holding him closer. Ryou deepened the kiss and kept the momentum of it going for awhile, keeping the closeness as several other crashes of lightning echoed throughout the city. When he finally pulled away, he chuckled. "Is this helping?"

Malik still flinched with every crack of thunder that shook the windows, but he did have to admit that having something else to focus on helped distract his mind away from the anxiety. "Yeah," he smiled and licked his lips of the kiss. "Yeah, actually, thank you. That felt nice, I don't feel quite as anxious."

"Good, that's what I was hoping." Ryou purred as he pushed Malik back and crawled over him. He didn't give the man a chance to talk before he captured his lips again, pressing for a deeper kiss.

Malik was beyond protesting now and latched on to the advances with both hands, quite literally. Ryou was attractive, it felt good, it eased his mind, he wanted this more than anything else in that moment.

After a few long moments, Ryou finally broke the kiss with a sigh. "Ah, I think my lips are going numb." He chuckled, sitting back. "Also sounds like the storm is in the distance."

"Finally," Malik breathed a sigh of relief as he caught his breath from the kiss, relaxing back against the cushions. He kept his hands on his boyfriend's arms, though, as if willing him to stay close. "We should watch a movie when the power comes on again."

"That sounds good." Ryou smiled, "I just got a new movie too. It'll be perfect." He sat back up, pulling away from Malik slowly with a gentle smile. "We'll make snacks too!"

Malik let him go reluctantly, relaxing more and more as the storm became distant and quiet. The power remained stubbornly out, however, and he'd been holding himself for hours already, his bladder felt about ready to burst. He sat up and bounced his leg with hesitation as he stared into the blackness, filling his courage for a moment before he stood. "I'll... be right back," he muttered, lifting the candle holder and shuffling in the direction of the bathroom.

Ryou watched him walk off, the dim light leaving with him. "You'll be alright." He assured him as he wandered further away. "You have a candle, you'll be fine."

"Yeah... " he shut the door behind him and set the candle onto the counter, displeased to find that it only illuminated the room closer to the door. The entire room on his right was still completely cloaked in darkness, and he was painfully aware of it as unzipped his pants to relieve himself.

The shadows were moving, he was sure of it. Beyond the flickering of the light from the candle, beyond the twitching movement of his eyes as they adjusted to the inconsistent light - there was something so organic about it, like someone was standing just beyond the inky veil. His spine was prickling for him to leave, but his pride kept him calm. There was nothing there, but even if there was, he wasn't about to grant it satisfaction by rushing back out. He washed his hands, dried them, and only then did he return to the living room - alone.

"Ryou?" His already pounding heart almost burst in his chest right there as he glanced the room frantically.

Once left in the darkness, Ryou stood and made his way to the kitchen. He figured with everything going on, a snack would cheer them both up.

Ryou gave a small grunt in response but was hidden by the wall that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness, making moving throughout the room simple as he gathered the rest of the ingredients. Pouring blueberries into the bowl already filled with strawberries and grapes, his gaze flickered up, watching the soft glow of Malik's candle.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked, with as much nonchalance as he could muster, stepping through the living room to make his way toward the kitchen. His eyes were focused so much ahead, locked on his goal, he didn't quite clear the edge of the coffee table, bumping it with his leg enough to stumble forward, nearly dropping the candle in his surprise and frustration. "Ah- Fuck," he hissed, regaining himself closing his eyes for a moment to let the initial soreness ebb.

"I wanted to make us a snack." Ryou walked put of the living room and passed him to set the bowl on the table, just noticing the distress his boyfriend was in. "Malik? Are you alright?" He turned with a frown to place a hand on the other's shoulder. "You should sit down."

There was that laughter again. "I'm fine," he grunted, pulling away to set the candle down again before he could accidentally put it out.

"Here." Ryou held him by the shoulders and led him to sit on the couch. "I'll feed you some fruit, it'll make you feel better."

"How is fruit going to make me feel better?" he snapped, but dropped himself onto the couch anyway. "Is fruit going to fix the power?!"

"Malik..." Ryou frowned, sitting down with him. "I know this is hard on you, I'm trying my best. Please, let me know what else I can do... I just figured some fresh fruit would calm you."

"No, fruit isn't gonna help, Ryou," he sighed and rubbed his face. "I'm not even hungry. I think I need to talk to the psychiatrist about upping my meds."

Ryou eyed him quietly for a moment before reaching over and picking up a strawberry, taking a bite. "I don't know if you should just to that. You've been fine until tonight, I think it's just your fear playing with your mind."

Wasn't that exactly what had gotten him into trouble before, though? His anger and fear had been so overwhelming that it had taken on a mind of it's own, quite literally. Maybe Ryou was right, though, he was high strung because of the storm, maybe this was normal.

"Yeah... I dunno, you're probably right. I'm probably overreacting."

With a soft smile, he leaned into Malik and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "Hey, if it continues in the next couple days then we'll go see your psychiatrist, okay?"

With the reassurance, Malik relaxed enough to smile as well, patting Ryou's leg softly in quiet appreciation for his support. "Okay... give me one of those berries, they look really good."

He held up the strawberry he had already bitten into. "This one is really sweet, just like you."

Malik chuckled at the cheesy line and accepted the bite with a playful smirk. "You're sweeter for putting up with me."

"I don't mind, honestly." He purred, grabbing the fruit bowl and bringing it towards them. "I could have said because you're a fruit."

"Now that's just rude," he grinned and leaned in for a kiss before plucking another berry from the bowl. Not long after the electricity finally buzzed back to life, illuminating the apartment almost blindingly as the lights came back all at once. Malik's entire body instantly relaxed, as if every muscle had breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Once the lights flicked on Ryou leaned into his boyfriend and nosed his arm. "Are you enlightened?" He joked with a chuckle before standing. "So about that movie."

Malik rolled his eyes at the pun and nudged him away. "Terrible. Yeah, whatever you want, just get something going." He kicked his legs over the arm of the chair now, laying across the cushions now to get comfortable for the remainder of their night.

With a chuckle, he stood and fingered through the collection of movies. The majority of it was horror, science fiction, and fantasy, not leaving much for anything a bit more light hearted after such a storm.

He picked out a scary movie, setting it in the player and shuffling back to the couch where he hovered over his boyfriend with a smile. "Hey... you're kind of cute..."

"Just kind of?" Malik muttered with a playful grin, reached his hands up to smooth over his boyfriend's cheeks. "You look really nice from this angle."

"You do too." He smiled, leaning down for a quick kiss.

"You're so fucking worthless."

Malik froze, completely shocked by the words. Besides the fact that he'd thought Ryou incapable of swearing up to this moment, the words were so sudden and so cruel, he was at a lose of how to even respond to them. "Wh-what?"

Ryou pulled back with a blush, his gaze down as he shied away. "I- I love you."

"What?" He repeated, softer and conflicted. This was the first time Ryou had ever said those words to him, and his heart fluttered for it, but - had Malik only misheard him before? No, he'd definitely called him worthless. "I - what did you say before that?"

Ryou blinked. "I said you looked good from the angle too...?" He furrowed his brows. "Oh dear... I said it too soon, didn't I?"

"No - no, you didn't," he assured him quickly, touching his cheeks again gently. "You didn't, darling, I'm sorry. I think I'm still just a little weird from earlier, don't mind me."

Ryou pursed his lips and nodded. "It's okay if you're not ready, Malik. I just... I've been wanting to say it."

Malik nodded, licking his lips with a nervous smile pulling at his lips. "I love you too, darling. Of course I do. You make me happier than anyone else."

Ryou's eyes brigthened at the reply and he moved in to pull his boyfriend in for a hug. "Malik, I'm so happy. I never thought I would find someone as amazing as you, I'm so lucky."

"I love you so much, Ryou," he mumbled into the other's shoulder, nuzzling in as he pulled him closer.

Ryou held him quietly for the next few moments until he began to laugh. "Since I said it first does that mean you have to take me out for dinner?"

Malik chuckled too, smoothing his hands along the other's back. "I don't think that's a thing, but I'll take you out anyway, you know that. We'll go to that fancy place you like tomorrow night, how about that?"

Ryou placed his hands on either side of his cheeks. "Oh! Malik!" He smiled and looked away. "I don't think I have a dress fancy enough for that!"

Malik laughed and wrapped Ryou up in his arms, pulling him close and rubbing his hair playfully. "Maybe we'll have to buy you a brand new dress, then. Make you the prettiest man at the whole ball."

"You really mean it?" He chuckled, crawling up on Malik to rest in his lap. "You're the best."

"Anything for you, my darling," he purred, planting kisses along his boyfriend's jaw and cheek. "Should we go to bed soon?"

"Mm... yeah. I am getting tired." Ryou sighed happily, tilting his neck for more kisses.

Malik obliged and continued his doting, slipping his hands to Ryou's waste. He hummed softly after a while, moving his hands to pat his rear gently. "Alright, climb off and maybe I'll carry you to bed."

"Mmmm... okay." Ryou pouted but stood, stretching with a yawn. "Let's go to bed."

Malik followed him up and stretched himself out before bending to scoop his boyfriend into his arms. He carried him into the bedroom, pausing by the light for Ryou to flick the switch before he set him onto the bed, crawling on over him.

He couldn't help but giggle childishly at the affection. Ryou kept his arms wrapped around Malik even as they fell onto the bed. Pulling him close, he snuck a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek. "I'm really happy we found each other."

Malik hummed happily and dipped down to steal a proper kiss of his own, nuzzling his nose along his boyfriend's cheek. "You are? Even though I was so shitty to you before?"

"You live, you learn." Ryou shrugged, pulling him down into a tight hug. "I couldn't imagine being with anyone else."

The answer seemed dismissive and Malik frowned a bit, privately, but, still, he was glad for it. If Ryou truly wasn't angry or holding a grudge then who was he to complain about it? "Neither could I," he agreed, genuinely, sighing as he let himself relax against his boyfriend's body.

Ryou stayed quiet, his smile falling into a soft frown. He stared at the ceiling in silence as he brushed his fingers through Malik's hair. After a few more moments, he closed his eyes and his hand slowed.

"I can never forgive you for what you've done."

Malik had only just relaxed and begun to drift off when Ryou spoke, his words like ice on Malik's skin as they seeped into his blood. He pulled back enough to frown down at him. "Why are you saying that now?"

His eyes fluttered opened as he gave his boyfriend a curious look. "Saying what now?" Ryou looked genuinely confused, a frown pulling at his lips. "Malik, are you okay?"

Malik's frown deepened and he only pulled away more, confused and hurt. If this was supposed to be some kind of joke, it wasn't funny. "No, tell me why you said that - that you can't forgive me. If that's true then why are you even with me?"

Ryou sat up quickly, reaching for his boyfriend's hands. "Malik, what are you talking about? I never said such a thing." He scooted forward, trying to keep contact. "I love you, that's why I'm with you."

"Don't - " Malik jerked his hands away, sighing heavily and rubbing them over his face instead. "I'm sorry, I don't know why this is happening again. I don't want to do this anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Ryou rested his hands on his lap, watching the other carefully. "Love, I... I don't understand what's going on."

"I don't think the meds are working," he confessed with another sigh, dropping his hands into his own lap and staring at them distantly. "If you don't forgive me, I couldn't really blame you... You deserve someone better than me, someone normal."

"Malik." He took a breath and crawled closer, a look of worry now took his features. "I'm not exactly normal myself. I'm happy with you. I really am. As for the meds... let's just give it a day or two, like we said, okay?"

"I don't know if I can do two more days of this, Ryou," his voice waivered with exhaustion and emotion, leaning in as Ryou came closer, resting his forehead against his boyfriend's shoulder. "What if it gets worse? What if I lose control again?"

Ryou shook his head, wrapping his arms tightly around the other. "You're so strong, Malik. There's not a doubt in my mind that you can beat this."

"You're too good to me, darling," he mumbled, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Ryou's neck as he pulled him closer. "I don't want to hurt you again."

Ryou slowly sat them back, grabbing the blanket and awkwardly tossing it over them. "You're so sweet, Malik." He sighed and closed his eyes. "That's why I love you."

Malik smiled and hummed softly, nuzzling comfortably against his boyfriend. "I love you very much, Ryou," he mumbled into his skin, relaxing again to allow himself to drift off within Ryou's arms.


End file.
